A Season Comes to an End
We are called to witness
The birds have stopped singing in Northern New Jersey. It felt like yesterday they arrived and blessed us with their sermon of song. Spring turned into Summer, and now…now the weather is starting to feel like Autumn.
I hear the buzz of crickets in the morning and close the window and keep the chill out of the bedroom. I see the birds flittering about in the morning but they’re silent. There’s no need to sing anymore, they did their duty attracting mates and raising young. Their focus in the waning weeks of Summer is to prepare for Winter.
Soon I’ll see my old friends migrate through my beloved Highlands. I’ll wait for the White-throated Sparrow to visit the feeder again, on its way South to warmer climes. I’ll gauge when the first Dark-eyed Junco arrives, bringing any news of the kind of Winter we could expect.
One season ends and another begins, and I am lucky to have a front-row seat to this play. The ebb and flow of Nature and our lives.
I found an old photo of me when I lived in New Mexico. I was young and skinny. I had longish hair and looked a bit wild. I had very little care in the world and I wanted to spend all my time outside in the canyons and mountains. I was young, full of energy, and had no concept of how harsh life could be. I was in the summer of my youth.
That was then but now is now.
Three decades later I’ve become quite aware of how tough life could get. My ideals and vision of myself have changed. The face in the mirror looks like the one in that photo, but different and older. I’ve changed and the years have taken their toll on me.
I understood back then that change is inevitable, that change is the only constant in life. I was quite aware of the ebb and flow of Nature and of people. I realized that good doesn’t always triumph over evil. I learned that sometimes love comes with strings attached.
In my 5 decades of life, I’ve been lucky to experience all this and have learned to roll with the punches that life throws at me. I’ve loved, lost love, and found it again. I’ve made and raised babies into fine young humans. I’ve changed careers and took charge of my life. I’ve made friends and lost friends. I’ve mourned, laughed, and cried.
My life has been rich, rich in change.
There’s something restless inside me, gnawing to get out. I don’t know what it is but it’s demanding my attention. The world around me, with all the people running to and fro, feels like a play or movie to me.
When I travel for work I marvel at all the people walking through the terminals. Some are running, others dragging crying children, and some waiting to board their plane. I’m aware of the cacophony of life happening around me as I walk to my gate.
I start to wonder about each person I pass. They all had a mother, a woman who birthed them into this world. They all have joy and sadness in their lives. They all lead different lives and seek their slice of happiness. Some will die too soon and others will live too long.
I know I’ll never see these people ever again and I search for meaning in all this. I can’t help but wonder about this frenzied pace of our modern world. I board my flight, find my window seat, and put on my seat belt.
I prepare myself as the plane rolls down the runway gathering speed. I’m waiting for that familiar feeling, the drop in the pit of my stomach as we leave Terra Firma. The plane banks to the left and we climb higher. I look out and see houses and busy highways. I see cars and trucks flowing through these highways, like the blood in our veins.
I can’t help but think about the people below. Somewhere someone is weeping, someone has died, someone has laughed, and someone was just born. The earth below me looks the same but change is happening below me at a frenetic pace. In a million years, the view below me would be completely different.
Below me is a mirror; a mirror of life, of people, places, and things. What I see this instant will never be the same ever again in the reality we experience together.
If you asked me what the meaning of life is, I’d say it’s to witness it. It’s to watch a sunrise or sunset along a beach. It’s to embrace a friend or family member in times of sadness. It’s to laugh with friends on a sidewalk cafe. It’s to make love with your partner. It’s to cheer for your favorite sports team and to walk in the woods.
Life is more than just living. It’s to acknowledge the change that comes with being alive. Nothing is permanent but for a fleeting moment, right now, you can experience it. For a split second, you can be in the present and feel the energy of an embrace, the burn of a kiss, or the tears of saying goodbye.
Then it’s gone.
Bearing witness means to be in the present. It’s not about what was or what will be, but being in the present.
Yes, one season will end and another will begin. Next Spring I’ll see the White-throated Sparrow migrate through again. They’ll stop on their way North for a break and eat at our feeder, then they’re off to fill the North with their song. The old familiars will arrive and build their nests, just as their ancestors did.
The cycle of nature will begin again and I hope to be lucky enough to witness it. In the meantime, I will make my preparations for Autumn and Winter and see what this half of the year will bring. I will bear witness to it and be in the present.
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